LADY GAGA: THE NARRATIVE

This is one of many works from my collection that I will be posting online once again. Lady Gaga: The Narrative was created during my days in University of the Philippines and was submitted as a group output. Ideas were drafted during meetings but the final story was written by Kako Rafael and I. This work exhibits how our ideas can form a unique story while slightly deviating from the public perception of a popular icon chosen by our professor.

Lady Gaga

Their music is very different. Way, way different from what I listen to. Their clothes don’t look flashy and trendy. It’s as if they’re wearing their office clothes. They don’t have all those strobe lights but still, their place is big and equipped with those audio stuff or whatever they call it. And as I enter, some people smiled at me while some didn’t even bother to look.

Of course, it’s Sunday and I am in the church – bored of my normal routine, and wanting to try something different…and maybe something fun! But I don’t think I came to the right place. What the heck? It’s still a new place to me isn’t it? Maybe there’s some hot boy lurking around that I can get hooked up with. MAYBE. Now, it’s getting boring. The minister will be starting his sermon in a few. But damn, he’s a cutie. Wait a sec, that dude looks familiar.

I do recall some new people coming along with my old perks last night. Last night was hot. Those nonstop bass lines, neon lights, flowing alcohol, people coming in and out – those were driving me crazy all night long. I was expecting to see some rainbows any time soon when Selena and the girls crashed into the house.

Oh those girls, our friendship goes back to high school days. Selena was the dominant and cranky one. I blame her being a latina for that, but boy, every guy loves getting the spot with her on the dance floor. Relationships never last for her however. She’s always in a fight with her man, arguing even the smallest of things. Yuki is the type of girl I refer to as the hot import. Why? My Jap friend here has graced the covers of Import Tuner several times already. She gets to ride whatever car she wants. All she needs to do is smile on the lucky driver, then poof! I do think that she even has a cult of men who wanna take a shot of their luck at her. Nobody succeeds. NOBODY. Quite contrary to her wild party girl/agogo dancer appearance, she is a determined university student. Unlike me, yeah. And lastly, Janis. She is my favorite among the girls – my competition. Though we’ve been close for the past years, I consider her a threat when we’re out to meet some boys. She gets the boys every time she does that innocent blond girl thing. They hang out some place else, and she makes boys plead for more. She does everything so she can hook up with someone.

So yesterday night, Janis brought along a shy fellow. Dick, yes, Dick is the only name he gave. It sucks though, being introduced to someone who’s prim and proper hot only to find out he’s a Dick. The girls left just the two of us at the couch. We had a couple of drinks, and I started leaning towards him. He passed out as soon as I kissed him.

Come to think of it, I never knew that going to church would be fun for the likes of me – promiscuous and wild. Just staring at the hottie by the pulpit makes me excited without the malice that the people around might think. Though it still frustrates me that someone so charismatic by the edge of the stage just fainted when I, Lady Gaga, kissed him last night. “All rise,” he said. His provocative voice made everyone stood in an instant while I just took the opportunity of his stare and gave him the look, “You owe me one.” And so the sermon ended and now, I would give my praise to cigarettes outside. I have been looking for my gold plated lighter while holding my cigarette for almost 10 minutes when a provocative voice said, “I believe you need this, and you need to read that,” and he fires up his classic gunmetal lighter while pointing at the no smoking sign. “Come to my office, you can smoke all you want there.”  He gives a sinister smile that stood out on top of his holy outfit. I like it. His office is nice and cozy – even too nice to make me think that fainting was normal for him. “I think you know my name already.” Of course I do! How could I ever forget the NAME, and I follow up an evil chuckle and rugged gesture while I act as if I was bored and needed to go. He suddenly grasps for his coat by the wall and got his calling card with panic. “Here's my card, you know what cards are for right?” I got the card from him while staring at his sharp evil eyes and caressing his cold and trembling hands. “You will call me, right?” I rampaged my way out while leaving a trace of teasers.

Wow, that was a GREAT night. Everything was so fun simply because a minister sneaked at home, and we made out all…night…long. I’m eager to make him breakfast but I couldn’t figure if he likes his eggs scrambled or just cooked sunny side up. I have to check up on him upstairs and ask. He’s not here, nor did he leave a note. The bed was all tidy though he forgot to bring his necklace that has a cross attached. Whatever! I’ll take a stroll near Times Square instead. What a beautiful Monday morning! That’s funny, the newspaper boy dropped by early today. What could the headline be?

LADY GAGA: ONE NIGHT STAND WITH REV. KEITH RICHARDS